The Healing Power of Wearing a Strap

I came out as queer in my thirties, and even though I’d had queer sex before that point, I didn’t discover my relationship with my strap-on, or ‘strap’, until later. Let me tell you – that  relationship is something extraordinary. My strap makes me feel sexy and empowered – and that’s just wearing it, let alone using it with another person. What I share with you here, is a story of discovery, and learning how the strap can be much more than a toy, or an object attached to a body, or even a tool for fucking – it can send its wearer on a path toward healing their relationship between self and sexuality. Desire outside of the cis-male imagination I’m a white bisexual cis woman, who may also be non-binary (more on that later) who has complex PTSD, OCD and anxiety as a result of decades of physically, psychologically and sexually abusive relationships. I’ve also always loved fucking – all kinds of people, in all kinds of ways. Yet over the years, my queerness has been pushed aside – for either being too much, or not enough. It wasn’t until I discovered the strap that I discovered the expansive dimensions of my sexuality, and learnt what actually turns me on. Although I’ve always enjoyed penetration, sex, for me, has always meant performing for others, pleasing others – an... I came out as queer in my thirties, and even though I’d had queer sex before that point, I didn’t discover my relationship with my strap-on, or ‘strap’, until later. Let me tell you – that  relationship is something extraordinary. My strap makes me feel sexy and empowered – and that’s just wearing it, let alone using it with another person. What I share with you here, is a story of discovery, and learning how the strap can be much more than ...